Most of us in this century have, in one way or another, utilized social media as a communication tool. Without me explicitly stating, I believe most of us understand the advantages of social media. Simply stating, social media has given us the ease of communication through crossing various social circles, especially via the internet. However, I’d also like to remind everyone and myself of the very same fact that social media is a great form of communication tool for spreading messages widely and quickly to anyone, could be detrimental as well.
I am someone who is practically dependent on social media as I see it as one of the greatest way to keep in touch with local and global news, and most importantly to be kept updated about my friends' thoughts and their lives. However, being that, I almost always forget the nature of online written communication. That is, it is 1) possible to be misread with the incorrect tone and emotions, on top of the reader's assumptions 2) possible to be misread especially if your message does not address a specific person.
There was one afternoon where I was irritated by the constant squabbling by two friends, to the extent that I could not study anymore. I casually changed my website's status online to 'GROW UP GUYS.' and did not think too much about it as the both of them do not have an account on the website. However that night, I received furious text messages from my sibling abt the website. She thought that I was talking about her quarrel with her boyfriend, and asked me to mind my own business. I wanted to clarify it immediately face to face but she was already asleep. Feeling absolutely enraged by her messages and the fact that she didn't confront me face to face, I replied back furiously. She then apologised immediately the next day through texting me, and asked if I was still mad at her. However I didn't reply her message as I was still mad at her for being so ridiculous. I needed a day to cool off and was only ready to speak to her at night. Out of my expectations, when I reached home that night, she yelled at me and we fought again. It broke into a physical fight and it ended up with her not coming home for 4 days! When she did, she apologised and explained. I sat and listened to her for an hour. We chat and spoke for hours. It turned out that she was always too stressed and because she doesn't know how to verbalize her thoughts, she couldn't begin to confide. The night which everything happened was a trigger to her release of emotions. I encouraged her to speak to me, because communicating needs practice. I also added on that if she found difficulty in doing so, she could write to me through text messages, emails or even through facebook messages. She felt better and was also more encouraged to talk to me thereafter.
What would you do to resolve this tension between you and your elder sibling? Was there any better actions I could have taken or something I could say to prevent from happening? Thanks for reading! Hope to hear from anyone about what you have to feedback on.
Hi Cheryl, it is unfortunate that such miscommunication ended up in an ugly conflict. However, i am glad that it was well resolved and it definitely strengthened the relationship with your sibling.
ReplyDeleteSimilar to you, i will want to clarify and resolve any conflicts at the very moment it happened before more misunderstanding occurs. However, if it is not possible, I would explore the possibility of emailing as an email will enable you to express your thoughts clearly instead of the short SMS. Before hitting the send button, you would have already calmed down and possibly edit the email which you have crafted in a furious mood. This can be a method for managing your foul mood given that sufficient time has passes.
In addition, i believe that this conflict can be prevented if her message was acknowledged earlier despite the residual unhappiness that you might have. In my opinion, if one were to lower his/her ego to apologise, it should not be ignored else the other party might have misread as you taking it for granted hence continuing the conflict.
Nonetheless, i believe it was a great lesson learnt for both parties and that you could pass on any communication skills that you have picked up in class to your sibling. In so doing, i am sure both it will be beneficial to the both of you.
As for the social media, it has come to my attention that vague messages are becoming more common. Although it is a great channel to vent one's frustration, it is often misconstrued by others and there lies a possibility that the parties involved will catch wind of it. Hence, in order not to capture the wrong attention, it is advisable to post your future messages with the 7Cs that you have learnt. The emphasis is on Clarity!
Thanks for pointing this out and it is a great lesson to me as well. I shall encourage my peers not to repeat this mistake too.
Hi Reynold, thanks for commenting!
DeleteYes i believe the problem lies in the 'Clarity' of messages. With social media like for eg. facebook, you will never know who will be reading it. be it the person herself/himself, or their close friends and so on.
thanks again! im relieved the conflict has been resolved too!